It was so hot today, my inlaws and I sat in their air conditioned, recently remodeled kitchen with an old school Milton Bradley classic, The Game of Life.
After a few beers, my father-in-law Frank landed on a Payday space, then told me (I was the official banker) to only give him half his paycheck, since the other half was already tied up in gas, groceries, and “friggin’ taxes.”
“...And while you’re at it, banker boy, maybe we should count what’s left in yer bank and make sure you’re not skimming any off the top.” Frank is frank.
As I counted out the musty Life-money from the till (he wasn’t kidding about my bank audit), I began to wonder--what would The Game of Life look like if it were played by modern rules? Here’s a few ideas:
The college career path:
Automatically pay to get an advanced degree, but since there are no jobs in the field in which you majored, you end up with a lower salary working as either a barrista, seasonal employee at UPS, or interning at the company that could have afforded to hire you 10 years ago. Student loans eat away at Paydays for the 15 turns.
The career path (no college)
Land a fat union or government sector job, put in a short work week with awesome benefits, and make a higher salary. However, toward the end of the game, your retirement pension is unexpectedly taken away and you have to play for an additional 25 turns.
All the game pieces are SUV’s, and they’re too big to fit on the board.
The first 7.5 Paydays of the game go directly to federal taxes.
Instead of “Get Engaged,” there are spaces for “Get a Roommate” and for “Live Together.”
“Buy a House” is replaced by “Live at Home even though you’re 35”
If you decide to get married, you can place either a pink or a blue game piece in the passenger seat.
“Share the Wealth” cards are replaced by “Mooch” cards.
There are 12 “Lose your Job” spaces on the board.
Just as in the regular Game of Life, the Modern Edition would have “Life” tiles. These include:
Stimulus Package! Collect 1000
Your Child “Needs” Lollapalooza Tickets! Pay 500
Get Visible Tattoo! Pay 500
Remove Visible Tattoo! Pay 1500
Enroll in Therapy! Pay 5000
Caught Illegally Downloading Music and Made an Example of! Pay 250,000 and lose a turn
Supreme Court Makes Your Livelihood Obsolete! Change Careers
Inheritance! Collect 100,000. Pay half in taxes
Adopt a Rescue Animal
Get Divorced. Pay 10,000
Remarry your “Soul Mate.” Collect 1000 from each player
Taxes Due! Pay 4x the amount of the depreciated value of your home
Car Accident! Pay 40,000 to replace your car because the other driver wasn’t insured
I ran a few of these ideas past Frank, who grunted something about being pretty clever and then cracked another PBR and told me he was “keeping an eye on the bank, unlike those SOB’s on Wall Street.”
Oh, one more thing. There’s no physical game board, spinner, or game pieces--just a download from the iTunes store, and you’re alerted via SMS that it’s your turn to move.
I guess it’s my turn. Happy Fourth of July.
After a few beers, my father-in-law Frank landed on a Payday space, then told me (I was the official banker) to only give him half his paycheck, since the other half was already tied up in gas, groceries, and “friggin’ taxes.”
“...And while you’re at it, banker boy, maybe we should count what’s left in yer bank and make sure you’re not skimming any off the top.” Frank is frank.
As I counted out the musty Life-money from the till (he wasn’t kidding about my bank audit), I began to wonder--what would The Game of Life look like if it were played by modern rules? Here’s a few ideas:
The college career path:
Automatically pay to get an advanced degree, but since there are no jobs in the field in which you majored, you end up with a lower salary working as either a barrista, seasonal employee at UPS, or interning at the company that could have afforded to hire you 10 years ago. Student loans eat away at Paydays for the 15 turns.
The career path (no college)
Land a fat union or government sector job, put in a short work week with awesome benefits, and make a higher salary. However, toward the end of the game, your retirement pension is unexpectedly taken away and you have to play for an additional 25 turns.
All the game pieces are SUV’s, and they’re too big to fit on the board.
The first 7.5 Paydays of the game go directly to federal taxes.
Instead of “Get Engaged,” there are spaces for “Get a Roommate” and for “Live Together.”
“Buy a House” is replaced by “Live at Home even though you’re 35”
If you decide to get married, you can place either a pink or a blue game piece in the passenger seat.
“Share the Wealth” cards are replaced by “Mooch” cards.
There are 12 “Lose your Job” spaces on the board.
Just as in the regular Game of Life, the Modern Edition would have “Life” tiles. These include:
Stimulus Package! Collect 1000
Your Child “Needs” Lollapalooza Tickets! Pay 500
Get Visible Tattoo! Pay 500
Remove Visible Tattoo! Pay 1500
Enroll in Therapy! Pay 5000
Caught Illegally Downloading Music and Made an Example of! Pay 250,000 and lose a turn
Supreme Court Makes Your Livelihood Obsolete! Change Careers
Inheritance! Collect 100,000. Pay half in taxes
Adopt a Rescue Animal
Get Divorced. Pay 10,000
Remarry your “Soul Mate.” Collect 1000 from each player
Taxes Due! Pay 4x the amount of the depreciated value of your home
Car Accident! Pay 40,000 to replace your car because the other driver wasn’t insured
I ran a few of these ideas past Frank, who grunted something about being pretty clever and then cracked another PBR and told me he was “keeping an eye on the bank, unlike those SOB’s on Wall Street.”
Oh, one more thing. There’s no physical game board, spinner, or game pieces--just a download from the iTunes store, and you’re alerted via SMS that it’s your turn to move.
I guess it’s my turn. Happy Fourth of July.
